Regardless of our sex, we may feel pressure after learning of new admirer, who views us as a potential romantic partner.

If one feels pressured to do something, and it's an uncomfortable, negative feeling, it usually means that one does not want to do that thing, and our internal alarm bells are ringing. We may believe that we are interpreting it as a threat unnecessarily due to trauma in childhood. This may be true, but let's explore...

Two types of social pressure

There are two types of social pressure that people can apply to us: positive and negative. They both feel uncomfortable, but the difference is that the positive type is applied for the purpose of building us up so that we can live a happier life, and feels like it's coming from a pure, loving, energy-giving place, while the negative type is applied for the purpose of bringing us down so our energy-level can be closer to theirs, and feels like it's coming from an impure, sometimes hateful, energy-draining place.

Examples of positive social pressure, created for the main purpose of giving us energy

• Encouragement from your best friend to talk to your crush

• Encouragement from your parent to introduce yourself to family friends

• Encouragement from a friend to absolutely crush a performance

Examples of negative social pressure, created for the main purpose of draining our energy

• Weird advances from an admirer

• Being dared to do something stupid for other people's entertainment

We know when we are being pressured to do something that is for our own benefit, like when a friend encourages us to talk to our crush. This pressure is created out of love. and when it is for someone else's benefit. The feeling of the former is one of "Damn, I know this would really help me, but I'm just not ready to evolve to that next level yet", while the feeling of the latter is a dirty feeling, as if something's just not right, as if there is an impure influence trying to drain energy from us. It's the salesperson pressuring us to buy something so they can make money, or the person who wants to enter into a relationship with you so that they feel happy, or so that they can become richer. A person with whom we would create a healthy relationship with is a person who is already happy and fulfilled before we met them. We are at a point in human history when wisdom is quite rare, and one of the common things that people do is enter into relationships for the purpose of fixing themselves, as if they are not perfect already. Their mental software has a virus: 'I'm not good enough as I am'. Since it's very common, you probably have a bit of this yourself. If this is so, I advise you to quarantine your heart, because virus + virus = more virus.

What do I truly want right now regarding romantic relationships?

In order to live a life that we enjoy, it's important to have an idea of what we want to be doing in five years from now, ten years from now, twenty years from now, and beyond. This means that we should should ask ourselves "When, if ever, do I want to be in a serious romantic relationship? Am I ready now?".

An issue?

Many feel pressured to commit to someone, sometimes by family members and at a certain age, and thus view their aversion to commitment so far in their life as an issue, as if they're letting someone down. It should be noted that we may feel like we're being too picky, but we should examine clearly whether we've been approached by a large number of people who we genuinely don't see as potential partners, or we've rejected some people who really liked due to self-sabotage.

If, after an honest examination, we see that our fear has prevented us from entering into a potentially great relationship, it only means that we were trying to protect ourself. Negative experiences in childhood may cause someone to believe that humans are incapable of trust. True love blasts away all fear- the devil is forgotten in the presence of God. Humans would do well to draw confidence from the butterflies in their stomach, and begin to befriend them. The most important factor is abundance- does the person believe that there is truly an abundance of amazing people out there? Or that there are many people with whom you can grow with, both becoming amazing people? Or do they see union with you as their only chance of reproductive success?

In the same way that we should be picky about what foods we eat, we should be picky about who we spend time with. Abundance is like a magic supermarket- some people believe they don't have a large choice to choose from before they go in, and just like magic, the store matches the amount they believed, and presents to them a small choice of goods. These people can't be picky.

The higher our social intelligence and self-esteem, the more admirers we will naturally attract, which means a larger selection of potential partners.

Being ready for a serious romantic relationship

Since serious romantic relationships imply the future conception of a child, I would talk through this post about the purpose of parenting with my children.

If you feel pressure from someone to enter into a relationship with them, I would advise my children to not enter into a relationship with them, because they should date people who have enough social intelligence to not allow her to feel pressured, while still making it clear that they are interested.

This is the mark of a man who is serious about starting a family. It is important to realise that the dissemination of this information is included in the the role of the father, but you may not have received it from him because he didn't have the knowledge. I guess the mother, too, but fathers really know about guys. Not all fathers have become the kind of men who they would want their daughters to date in the future, and are unable to give his daughter insight into the minds of the different types of guys who show romantic interest in her.

From the point of view of our admirers

Some people will enter into a relationship mainly for sex, convincing their partner that they're interested in a serious long-term relationship. Forgiveness of these people can be found in the knowledge that this kind of manoeuvre is a clumsy, selfish way of getting energy, and requires low self-esteem.

The seriousness of romantic relationships

The seriousness of romantic relationships revolves around the inherent agreement that, "if we continue, we're going to raise a child together". It's arguably the most important agreement any human can make with one another, so it's understandable that one would be cautious about entering into a serious romantic relationship. Of course, couples can agree not to raise children.

Polygamy and Traditional Relationships

I believe that the negative social feeling around polygamy is similar to being a millionaire: it's often criticised by those who believe that they can't have it.

Spiral Dynamics

*I believe that the general negative feeling around polygamy is mainly a 🔵 thing. 🟠 goes on a journey to becoming an independent, unstifled person, and 🟢 is often open to free love. Of course, each person is a unique mixture of the colours.

Humanity has got to a point where the survival of our species does not depend on increasing our numbers.This means that we have inherited

It's important to know where we are in our lives at the moment in relation to our goals, and to try to get a good idea of whether or not a new relationship would help us get there. Perhaps our main goal is to start a family.

Evaluate the pros and cons of entering into a relationship with th

The fear of heartbreak

Those who have experienced heartbreak should go into new relationships having learned to not put their eggs in their partner's basket, for they will inevitably let go of it, either willingly or through death. The only place where your eggs are safe is God's basket. In other words, any love given to you by your partner will always be given to you through them, by God. Expect unfailing love from God alone, because man is subject to selfishness, because we are able to forget God. For love, all participants in a relationship should rely on the endless source of love inside themselves. It is as if we each have an invisible well of love inside us. If we are unaware of it, we become thirsty and seek outside ourself for nourishment. Those who are sad and seek for nourishment outside themselves have simply forgotten about the well inside themselves. You may give them a drink, but they are likely to return for more, so it is important to help them find the well inside themselves. Beware those who sell water. God has given us only enough for one person, since it is supposed to be that each human is aware of the well. This means that it may become difficult to maintain a high energy level with many people, who are unaware of their well, trying to gain energy from us.

The law of attraction deserves a mention here, since another great way to avoid heartbreak is to avoid attracting it.

A happy, shining person in this society is bound to have many admirers, since there are many whose lights are dull. We all want to gain energy, and many unfortunate see fit to drain your energy so that it is closer to theirs, which slightly increases their energy. If we are feeling anxious due to our admirers, it is likely to mean that our admirer feels anxious. Not all people get anxious when stating their romantic interest in someone, but if they do, look for if they supplement it with humour. If they do, it at least means that they are aware that human emotions transfer from one person to another, like a mirror. If there is anxiety but no humour, this person should be politely declined, since they are not ready for a serious relationship and should focus on improving their social skills and self-esteem. If we feel anxious due to our admirers, it may mean that we have allowed them to get too close to us. Some people have gained many admirers quickly after a long time of having none, and therefore have not yet adjusted to the idea of having many admirers as being normal. Accepting this as a normal part of life allows for the mind to discover it's own strategies for handling it. Receiving frequent direct messages has the same affect as being repeatedly tapped on the shoulder by someone. These of course causes a lot of anxiety, and a sense of having to reply to these people quickly otherwise they'll get angry.

An admirer who, in my opinion, should be considered a real candidate for a serious romantic relationship is someone who has enough energy to not want to take from ours, and so is someone who will be content to not enter into a serious romantic relationship with you. These good candidates will also have enough social intelligence to know that no-one likes to feel pestered, pressured, suffocated by an admirer, so they will continue to be friendly, while accepting that you're not interested in a serious romantic relationship with them. The difference between men who I want my daughters to date, and men who I don't want my daughters to date can be summed up with a single question: when offering a woman to join them in a serious romantic relationship, do they take rejection personally? If they react poorly to a rejection it means that they have no other options, which means that their mindset is likely one of scarcity instead of abundance, which means that they probably don't have much of an inspired life, so that is what they should be focusing on. People who apply unwelcome pressure onto someone whom they admire are those who have no other options, so need them to say yes. In the same way that we get anxious about scoring well with our last dart.

Admirers who apply unwelcome pressure on us to enter into serious romantic relationships, or even just casual sexual relationships, are often people who are difficult to avoid like classmates or friend's friends. How we act towards them depends on how they act towards us. Ego aside, they are children of God, and must therefore be treated respectfully, with their innocent ignorance of our disinterest in their offer, and the reasons why, as something for us to look upon with infinite patience. Nobody should be condemned for low social intelligence. Their admiration for us is a gift. What to do about this depends on how we want to live- do we want to live as a celebrity, as a yogi, as an average pedestrian? For those who want to increase their popularity- even in social circles which they are not a part of- one would do well to court their admirers, which means to keep their attraction for us without allowing them into our lives, nor without leading them on. It is for the health of our society that people should be attracted to qualities such as confidence, humour, clemency, unconditional love, leadership. So if we are interested in a healthy society, we should rejoice in having many admirers. The danger is in getting big-headed, and thinking that God loves us more because more people love us than other people. It's possible to get admirers to stop applying unwelcome pressure, without curtailing their admiration for us, although it will require the learning of a new skill: friend-zone creation.

Unless we have prevented the possibility, our child may one day become the admirer of someone and get their heart broken. For many parents, the possibility of preventing such a possibility doesn't even occur to them, so this calls for absolute unconditional love for any admirer, no matter their level of social skill. Be the mother or father in the group, who loves ever

Freedom from craving external validation

There is a spectrum of negative pressure that

We should be able to give energy from afar, but never up close, since they can drain it from up close, but not from afar. We can inspire them via posts on Instagram, but they should not be allowed to move in with us for a week,

The fear of change

Entering into a serious romantic relationship is a serious life change for anyone. Though it need not change who we think we are, if we know ourselves to be unable to be thought about- the one who observes the thinking.

The natural course of any male is to become a father, and of a female, a mother.

The fear of mockery

The purpose of fear is to stop us from doing things that are likely to affect us negatively.

From a spiritual perspective

When you look into the eyes of another human, whether they belong. There is nothing we are not. Our ego is simply a psychological tool for keeping this body alive. The belief in a separate self is the software which defends the body.

From the spiritual perspective, commitment issues reveal many false beliefs

Beliefs to adopt for dissolution of commitment issues:

• I am pure, formless awareness, as well as everything that I am aware of

• Because of this, I cannot die, or be affected by anything I experience- in the same way that nothing in a movie can affect the screen

• My admirers and I share our being, and are all this pure awareness that is aware of these words

• I have nothing, and nothing can have me

• Nothing is wrong, everything is perfect- I am living in heaven due to spiritual knowledge, while, due to spiritual ignorance, most other people experience life as different degrees of hell. Only when I sink down to believe that I am a separate entity, like most others do, do I interpret situations as problems

• Survival is a game, and the ego is a psychological tool for survival which I must not suffer too much over, lest I become too entrenched in it and forget the oneness of my true nature and descend into perpetual suffering

• There is no real right / good or wrong / bad. Everything is perfectly neutral, without need for any judgement to be placed on anything. What's good to people is simply what appears to promote their survival, what's bad to people is simply what appears to negate it. Many people who are interested in spirituality view their erratic thoughts as bad, and receive great insight when they finally relieve this phenomena of judgement

• My life is a celebration

• Life is only ever experienced now

Admirers recognise in us divine qualities- it may be the sculpture of our face, evidently a work of God. Eye-contact is a sure-fire way to show God to another person. The sky is covered with black clouds for those who cannot hold eye-contact, while the sun shines in those who can. Our admirer may appreciate our sense of humour, which frequently reminds them to not take life so seriously, as if life doesn't have to be a constant uphill battle. For many admirers, our qualities are evidence that togetherness with us is certain to increase their energy, which they need so much, the source of which can be find within themselves.

Conclusion

Whether or not to enter into a relationship with someone is a decision that is only yours to make. When listening to people's advice, pay attention to their tone: does this person truly want the best for me? Are they thinking about what they're saying when they speak? Would they be proud for people to quote what they say? Does this person love me? How does this person truly feel about themselves?